I maintain that I am perfect just the way I am. Anyway, it is too late to change.

But imagine if I could take a pill and suddenly have consistent self love? I don’t know what that would feel like but I am pretty sure that I would be more productive.

In my normal state of self questioning and examination I regularly have low times in which I lie down and curse my ridiculous self. And in that state, nothing much gets done.

But then I get up.

Even if I am depressed and irritated with myself I can still get myself up to clean a room and sort a closet. And as I take control of myself and my environment I find my inner peace.

My inner child loves to be left alone to sort and think. My mind will happily move towards creativity and productivity in this safe state of mind.

And once I am grounded like that, I might dress myself in a good outfit and head out to be social. Every beautiful encounter will be enjoyed, every conversation will be fresh and real.

What’s true about me is that I can be a bit intense. I hyper focus on projects. I multi task constantly. I am quickly bored by repetition and pedantic explanations. I am very empathetic and very sensitive to moods and tones.

Yes, I know. My description of my behaviour might have you and many others jumping to some quick social media diagnosis.

It has been hinted that I might be ADHD. Or have ADHD? Or some sort of condition that falls along the broad neuro diverse continuum?

It’s possible. Though I must say, I don’t care. I don’t know my diagnosis and I don’t want to know.

I don’t think I am neuro-divergent. I think I am super neurotypical and trained from an early age to take control of my mind and make it work.

Moreover, I never had any of my children tested even though they had their own quirks. And I believe I saved their livers from 20-30 years of a destructive and likely ineffective drug.

Our generation did not get mental health days. We were encouraged to tough it out.

So, we did, and we still do.

Who among us has no weird quirks or self styled survival tricks. Are you out there? Is there a ‘normal’?

I have become quite accustomed to myself and I have always enjoyed my own company. I trust my instincts. I trust my body. I trust my brain.

There is no doctor that I would trust to administer pharmaceuticals that would affect my mind.

There is no pill that I would swallow to become more productive and even tempered.

Right now on earth our bodies are barraged with pollutants from the air, food and water.

We do not know the effect of the electromagnetic waves constantly pressing through our, mostly water, bodies. Never mind the unknown materials in the injections.  

There are plenty of perfectly good reasons for people to be anxious, ill and fuzzy minded.

The key is to keep your head and never let anyone tell you they know how to fix you.