When I first moved to the coast of New Brunswick more than 20 years ago I was a bit nervous to walk in the woods alone. I knew it was foolish but my experience had mostly been walking in cities and I felt safer there than in the woods.

All alone in the woods felt vulnerable to me. After all, if I bump into someone with bad intent in the woods, what am I going to do?

I had a lot of experience regarding the safest methods and paths for the city. Of course, as a woman you walk in lighted streets and along streets where there are people. You avoid lonely patches with dark patches of shadows.

You cross the road or change your direction at the least sign of trouble. A group of men walking together and looking rowdy? A quick change of direction.

My life experience in the city as a young woman and young mother had me trained. I have called on a streetcar driver to help me when an old drunk man threw himself on me. I have stared down, with terrifying mother bear intensity, a drugged out young man in the middle of a pathway when I had to get by with a toddler and a baby.

I have had a pretend conversation with my boyfriend on a broken public phone when I recognized that I was being hunted down on the subway. The man was watching me, standing at the bottom of the stairs in a confrontational manner as I descended. Then he stood an inch away from where I was sitting on the subway train.

I got off the train before my stop and the man followed me. That’s when I made the pretend call to my boyfriend on a broken public phone, telling him in a loud voice that a man was following me and he should come get me. Then I took off up the stairs into a crowd and lost him.

I remember another time when I thought I would walk to the next stop rather than wait and then found myself in a dark and deserted street with an underpass. I decided to speed up my walk and sprinted to the next stop and a place with lights and people.

Another time my young son and I were threatened and screamed at by a terrifying large man with a tattoo on his forehead who followed us up and out of the station. I reported him the to the subway worker at the top of the stairs and when the worker saw the man pass by he kindly walked us out of the station.

But as we turned the street corner I could see the giant man on his way back towards us, yelling and stomping. We popped into a store and I went directly to the cashier and said there is a scary man out there and I need to stay here until he passes. She understood.

Women always understand.

When you look at my various experiences in the city, you have to question why I would be scared in the woods. It is a challenge to adjust to new environments, but really, my fear was ridiculous!

So I overcame my fears and for years I have marched along the trail and into the woods. I have run into absolutely no one in the woods. I am always comfortable to go for a walk, sometimes an hour long walk, enjoying the forest and the paths.

Along the trail you sometimes have ATVs zipping by. They always slow down and give a friendly nod. It is often a grandparent out with a child, or an older couple out for an adventure. Sometimes some young kids having a blast driving in the wild. I have never felt a moment of fear from them.

The most alarming experience a forest walker has is when a pea brained pheasant panics and bolts out of the bushes (where they were perfectly well hidden and safe) squawking as if they are being murdered. That scares everyone, men and women and child alike, and I don’t really see what purpose it serves to the pheasant!

It can be surprising to see a deer, their large dark presence suddenly turning and disappearing silently into the woods so your last sighting is their puffy white tails fluffing away.

My husband insists that I take a walking stick so that I have some protection but I don’t see how this stick is going to help me against a bear. I can wave it about I suppose but my hope with a bear, or a coyote, is that they will want to avoid me as much as I want to avoid them.

And I think that mostly that holds true. I am sure animals hear me or smell me long before I am aware of them, and keep a distance from me.

I watch for paw prints in the snow and scat on the path. One time I saw a a bloody tail of a rabbit and I thought, she escaped! It is a treat to see a deer or a rabbit, or maybe a big old porcupine waddling home.

But a few weeks ago I had an experience that has put me off my solo walks. I was deep into the woods on the other side of the highway and I saw a ATV coming my way. I was not concerned. I usually step to the side so that they can go by more easily.

But for some reason the ATV was going really slowly. As if they were looking for something, and maybe they were, I don’t know.

As they were crawling along I had the thought that I didn’t really feel like talking, so I stepped off the trail into a cleared spot thinking I would wait for them to pass. Maybe I should have stayed on the path to say hello, but I didn’t feel like it.

There was something different about them. ATVs usually boot by like they are going somewhere.

As they crawled by they slowed right down and looked at me and then passed on. There were three men with hunter orange caps on, and very quiet. After they passed and I went further along the path to the place where I usually turn around.

I was looking forward to them moving on and me being alone in the woods again. But they stopped the ATV and just sat in it. They were a distance away but we could see each other.

I waited for them to leave and they didn’t. I thought about how alone I was in the woods. I wondered how I was going to feel if one or two of them got out of the ATV and walked towards me.

I didn’t like the feeling so I called my husband, on a real phone this time, just to chat but he was busy at work. I held my phone and thought about a plan.

I decided that if any one of them got out of the ATV and started walking towards me I would call the police.

Maybe the men were just looking for directions or maybe they would ask me if I had seen a lost dog. But even so, until I knew that, I was going to make a call so someone knew where I was and what was happening.

Throughout this experience and my careful calculations I never felt nervous and my heart did not speed up. I was just being sensible.

This is just life as a woman. We are like the deer, ready to run.

Most men, many men, know this already and take specific actions to make us feel safe. I believe that one of the three men on the ATV eventually said to his pals, let’s stop examining our maps or whatever they were doing, let’s go already. We’re making that woman nervous to pass.

I think that may have happened as they did trundle off eventually.

Unfortunately this odd turn has broken the bubble I was living in and now I keep putting off my long walks that are such an essential exercise for my mind and body.

I asked my husband for bear spray for Christmas. I think it would be more effective than a stick. I have a comical picture of myself in my mind, poking a stick at a large animal in a ridiculous manner.

A dog or a bear would just take the stick from me.