I feel like this will be the longest winter in history. I have been spinning in time since my son went to college. The Old Bitch Above saw it was wise to keep me busy so she gave me two night jobs through the summer to distract me from my thoughts. But now it is fall … Continue reading January 2016
Writing
Metamorphosis
I wrote poems when I was a child. I remember one that was pretty straight forward. It was about my life plan. I wanted children and then I wanted to write. At least that was the gist. When I mentioned this at breakfast the other day my husband said, ‘Be careful what you wish for, … Continue reading Metamorphosis
Lost scarf with gold thread
I had a beautiful scarf that I bought myself when I was out shopping with my precious first daughter. It was a warm gold and orange and turquoise, vibrant and fiery and calming all at once. I was wearing it on the day that I looked into my car's rear view mirror and saw my … Continue reading Lost scarf with gold thread
I missed you but I was busy thinking
I have gone through a quiet stage. I even hesitate to write in my journal. Sometimes I feel tired just thinking about putting my thoughts into writing. But I don't feel bad or sad at all. I am cruising. I am thinking. I remember talking with an American cousin of mine about whether natural birth … Continue reading I missed you but I was busy thinking
Smiling at a Potted Plant
"I just smiled at a potted plant, thinking it was you”. She thought she saw me at her table when I was having a long distance phone call with my Mom. This was when her mind was beginning to go a bit wild. I did not know it then but it was a sign of things to … Continue reading Smiling at a Potted Plant
Red Sun in Morning
I type in the dark, fingers missing keys, as my daughter sleeps in a shadowy futon couch bed in the corner of my study; a grown woman planning her big move to the west coast of the United States. Today she turns 21. The first fall without my Mom. She has passed away. Passe Compose. … Continue reading Red Sun in Morning
Mama – Last Word
I made one more trip to see mom before she died. I went straight down to see her and was dismayed to see how lifeless she was. She had not been sitting up for a few days, and she had stopped eating. I knew that, and I knew what was happening, and I knew why … Continue reading Mama – Last Word
Mama
My mom’s dying is so gradual that I feel like I am watching a tree return to the earth. She hardly moves now, and Parkinson’s is stealing her voice and her expressions, just as she feared. But if I sit beside her and look into her eyes I know what she is thinking. Her eyes … Continue reading Mama
Retirement Plans for an Angry Old Hipster
I have too many things and I spend quite a bit of time talking to banks, lawyers and insurance people. A bunch of people count on me to get things done and be there to hold up the world. I treasure sleep over almost any other pleasure, I eat sensibly all the time, I might … Continue reading Retirement Plans for an Angry Old Hipster
Mom and the Old Bitch Above
There was a time in my youth when I wished my Mom was dead. As soon as I wished it I realized that it was a terrible solution. I knew that my Mom drove me crazy in various ways but it was certainly not fair to request her death in order to set me free … Continue reading Mom and the Old Bitch Above
Notes from a Sinking Isthmus 