September 23, 2026 5 am

I was thinking about how I had a good handle on my research paper when the word ‘ research’ became more prominent in mind and my sleepiness left my brain and my body.

Suddenly, my mind was on alert: when the writing assignment is entitled ‘research’ doesn’t that mean that I need to do actual research?

Was it enough to lay out my theory about what makes a good memoir with examples from the numerous memoirs I had read in the last year?

No. No matter how charmingly I sold my theories and demonstrated my points with examples from the many memoirs I had read, I should also be quoting from books on the craft of writing.

I was going to have to squeeze in some well placed quotes. Yes, certainly. Yep, absolutely. That’s fine. Editing and cutting always improves writing. Can’t go wrong there.

This paper is not due for ages, mind. And I already have a good rough draft and plenty of time to reconsider, rewrite, edit and tighten.

But I am single mindedly trying to finish this writing project so that I can concentrate on another project that is also due around the same time.

My mind is sane and sensible, but just a little too active for 5 am.

And once my brain is in action, watch out.

It is not enough to say to myself, I’ll check those books the next time I am working on the paper. I’ll rest now and do that later.

No, my brain has legs and it feels like part of me is walking downstairs to look for those books.

I can see my hands flipping through the books. I can see me quickly identifying a good quote that I can work seamlessly into my essay.

As my brain is wandering downstairs, my body rests, pretending to sleep.

But my breath is light and high in my chest; my brain has left my body behind.

I am officially ungrounded, living in my mind, and the day has not yet begun.

I am often outside my body. Maybe I have been here since some traumatic event in my childhood. Maybe I feel comfortable here.

Some might call it a nervous temperament. A body that is too tuned up, a nervous system with the switch frozen in ‘on’.

The idea of grounding is simple. It just means go back inside your body.

It might work to put your bare feet on the ground, or do breathing exercises.

These actions work physiologically, re-minding your brain to connect with the rest of your nervous system.

Ungrounded souls know what they have to do.

The must simply gather their brain and nerves and pull them back.

Like tentacles the nerves have crept out to explore every possible danger, and they need to be hauled back into the body.

There are few moments when I feel completely grounded and when I do the feeling is luxurious and ecstatic.

I feel delighted by the freedom, my heart feels open and I smile without thinking. I am relaxed.

For me grounding happens far from the ground.

I can depend on opening that third eye if I am floating on a air mattress at the beach staring at the wide, open sky.

Digesting the vast, all encompassing universe lifts me out of my body and releases my mind.

Bobbing on the water with the wide sky absorbing my mind, I feel a freedom and delight that can’t be found easily.

I feel magically revived afterwards. Ten years younger. Maybe more. Maybe I am as free as a child.

I am curious about the circumstances, the machinery, that sets off the feeling of peace.

If I examine how I feel at the moment it is simply that I feel safe.